When Life Hands You Lemons......

.............Refuse them. Take those crappy lemons and throw them back in life's face and then proceed to throw urself to the ground crying, wailing, screaming and refusing to accept these horrible how could u hand me these lemons!?! ...... Right? ..... err

That's what I WANT to do and how I feel inside BUT the better part of me is making the most of the Lemons we have just been handed and trying to be super strong and sensible for my Hubby.

Yesterday we just got bad news from the Big bad wolf the BANK. While in the process of researching our finances (bla bla mumbo jumbo technical stuff) and approving the loan for our new house, they have now come back to tell us they want $XX,000 (lots o' money) MORE from us to put down for the purchase price of the house. Closing is scheduled for next week. They tell us this a week before we close, weeks AFTER we've already decided on home renovations and our contractor. They never gave us an inkling of an idea before this could be the case.

We are already pouring every cent we have ever saved into this house so we were shocked as the impossibility of what they're asking here. $XX,0000 more (see all those zeros) is like, ALOT more that we don't have extra of. We didn't think they could be SERIOUS because this $XX,000 happens to be the exact amount of money we have saved for years to get our renovations done. Since we will have a new house and a new baby and a new job for hubs, we will have No time or luxury to do this ourselves. We were just going the contractor route and hiring a superman to coordinate everything we wanted to get done to the new place before we move in and before the new baby arrives (operative word being before).


We were getting so much done too -

•  The whole kitchen redone (new cabinets, floors, backsplash, countertops, the works)
• A kitchen wall knocked down to open into the living room
• French doors installed onto the deck leading out from the dining room
• Arch entryways made into and out of the kitchen and leading into the dining room from the living room
• Raised paneling in the dining room
• 3 brand new bathrooms including a 
• Spa master bathroom for me in the Master bedroom by eliminating the master bedroom closet and carving out a new one
• Wainscoting in the bathrooms and the den
• Wooden floors in the office
• New carpet in the den/kids' playroom
• New laundry floor cabinets and tiles
• French sliding doors installed in the walkout area downstairs from the Den
  
  Oh the list was endless. We finally found a contractor (after interviewing Many!) who was going to work with us and negotiated him down to a VERY reasonable budget for all of this.

CLONKKKKKKKK!! That was a Lemon hitting me in the head.

So now we are being forced to cut out all renovations with the contractor since that money will now have to go towards a downpayment on the house. A few years ago the bank would've never asked this of us - but I guess this is what the whole mortgage crisis has come down to. 


I knew it was all too good to be true. I just hoped and thought - ah it's finally OUR turn, our turn to have a little comfort, a little style, a little luxury in life after years of living in rentals and apartments and terrible neighbor situations and moving all over the country. Guess not. Here's where I can be an optimist or pessimist. 

Upon all appearances I am one of the cheeriest people u'll meet - always laughing and joking. It's really my way of DEALING with things because I am secretly a pessimist  (aka realist) inside. Sigh. I want to curl into a ball and cry and throw a tantrum but because The Hubs is pretty devastated, I can't. For his sake. I have to be strong for him. As much of a Pita I can be for my Hubs, if anything anything anything ever hurts him or gets to him or upsets him - I just lose it. I can't tolerate it. Every ounce of me runs to his side to support him, lift his spirits and do anything to make that man smile and laugh and jump up and down. He is such an amazing person and soul and after how hard he has worked for us, he doesn't deserve this. The reason the Big Bad Wolf Bank is asking us for more money is also due to something that has hurt our credit history that was completely OUT of our control as well - ugh I can't even get into it because it makes me want to vomit. 

ANYWAY, in comes Super Wife to the rescue with my big speech last night.

I told the hubster not to fret!!! That this is life's way of saying - hey u can still have it all - u can still have what u want, the renovations, updates and snazzy touches in the house! Life just wants us to have our cake and eat it too - save lots of money and enjoy doing it ourselves!! (?????) Stay with me here. I tried to convince him how much of a fun challenge it will be to fix the house up ourselves, how we are always watching HGTV and thinking we could do this or that, how he loves to build and create as do I, how we're such HOME people, how much money we could save by doing it ourselves instead of having the contractor do it, how rewarding it will be to see it all come together, how much more satisfied and accomplished we will feel if we put our own hands to the task and put in our own blood sweat and tears in making our new home. 

I was trying to get him excited, pumped, ready for the ride ...............but I am totally clueless how this is going to come together. We've never done something like this before - tiles? cabinets? installing countertops? What??? and on top of all this - right before or right After a NEWBORN arrives? How?

Breathe Candy.

It's alright, it will be ok. I insisted to my sweet hubbers that these things don't matter. We need to keep perspective. We have our health, we have our beautiful babies, we have wonderful family and friends, we have his job still, thankgoodness we had that cushion we saved where it's just renovations we're cutting out instead of actually LOSING the house - life could be ALOT worse - alot. Those are the things that are important and matter in life - not glass tiles and granite countertops. (Altho I will truly miss the idea of those! Sniff Sniff). 

I gotta keep pumping sunshine up his butt. Just have to. He started to come around and felt better about it this morning which makes my heart smile. We're still gonna go for renovations - but gonna do it ourselves - We will just take our time and do it slower. Time to visit more DIY Mommy blogs!! So stay tuned to how this is all going to turn out!! Gulp.

In the words of Young MC -- "We're on a mission.......and we're wishin'" (that this is gonna turn out right)...."So come on fatsos!!!" (which would be US) ... "and Bust a move!!!"

Wakeup call - 2 months til baby!

It just sort've occurred to me that amidst this whole house renov/closing/buying ordeal - WE HAVE A BABY COMING IN 2 MONTHS. Holy crap we have so much to do. Granted we still have Kavan's clothes, toys, bottles etc that will clearly be hand me downs - poor kid. We still have stuff to BUY and get for the newborn and the achier my back gets, the more I realize I am not moving a muscle once April hits. Around the last month of pregnancy, I don't want to do a darnnnnnn thing or go Anywhere and I'm pretty sure that will be the case times 1,000 this time round again.

There are a few baby items I wasn't such a fan of when Kavan was a little nugget.

1. I didn't like his Comfort Cradle Boppy Bouncer and I dont think he was much of a fan of it either. It seemed boring and too cushy and he looked like he was sinking in it. He never really wanted to be in it or play with it. I didnt really move it from room to room much either which I want to be able to do with the new nugget. I'd like something a bit more functional and baby friendly.
2. I wasnt such a fan of his Bassinet either. The mattress was super thin and looked uncomfortable and it didnt rock or play music or anything. It turned into a toy chest when we were done with it which is ok but not the greatest feature in the world. I want something that is jazzed up this time round and I can move around if I wanted to.
3. I didn't like the tub situation for the first few months. I don't feel comfortable bathing him in the sink - never liked the idea of him being nekkie in the kitchen where there is a draft and that everything is so hard around there, counters floors etc. I just stuck to my bedroom where it was nice and cozy and I gave sponge baths on my bed which was a bit silly since it all got wet. I need a tub which encloses a newborn a bit more than the bigger ones for when theyre a few months old.

This time round, I may get this for the next baby - a Fisher Price rock n play bouncer/bassinet. I saw it on this mama's blog with a really helpful review and video of her baby in there and it looks really good!


I also really really liked this TUB for a newborn. I've never seen anything like this and it seems like it snuggles the baby in there perfectly. I saw it on the same mama's blog with a pretty helpful review and video.

I'm still on a search for a really good bassinet. A girlfriend of mine has one where it rocks and plays music and u can detach the bassinet part like a carseat and it can serve as a moses basket essentially - carrying it from room to room, altho it could get pretty heavy. It just seemed so compact and perfect. I'm still on the hunt for it.

If anyone has any items they loved for the second baby that they missed out first time round - pls throw it out there!! I'm all ears :)

Major FAIL at the Tile Store

Yesterday did not go as I hoped. The Hubs and I set out on a mission to pick out bathroom tub and floor tiles and Kitchen floor and backsplash tiles. Oh how foolish we were to think this could get accomplished. We've been putting this trip off for a while because we wanted the perfect opportunity to be able to take our time while monkey could sleep at the store. We needed to time this just right considering the trip to this Bargain Tile Mecca of a store is about 2 hours out from where we live. Then when we think we have a window in our week - we get recurrent freak snowstorms that make us cancel our trip. I'm convinced this is just the universe's way of saying u two are Not ready for this task!!

Well after yesterday, I see why. Who ever thought picking tiles could be such a test of marriage?! About half the time in the store, Hubs and I went back and forth on everything from colors to size to texture - it's like we were speaking Swahili and Japanese at each other - ships passing in the night Right by each other. For a man who is usually completely laid back and anything's cool about whatever - all of a sudden it's like I was looking at Martha Stewart who had such strong opinions on certain tiles and veins in tiles and the graininess in tiles and I didnt know what was going on!! I was watching him, seeing his lips move but not taking in a damn thing.

We had it all figured out going in. We had pictures! Pictures of tiles! All my beloved pictures I've been researching and showing him and insisting on and we get there and Epic FAIL. What a day.


We're going to go back to the drawing board and try to actually communicate on this. I'm talking specifics - dimensions, style, size, texture, color, the look - EVERYTHING because there is no way this is magically happening - We need to go thru the fire with this one and if we come out alive and whole on the other end - we will just be stronger for it :)

Fancied up my Bloggy all By Myself :)

This is a big accomplishment for me - someone totally illiterate in html. I changed the background and added a bunch of blinkies and buttons courtesy of this lovely mama's blog for free! yay :) I am on a waiting list for a site re-design but in the meantime, this will have to do. I am very pleased with it if I do say so myself.

In other news over here --- the snow is insanely falling AGAIN. This means another stuck inside with the little bebe trying to figure out what to do and get creative. He is so wired and energetic this little boy - I've got to get him to release his energy since this mama is refusing to drive in this terrible weather to a Gymboree class. It's scary out there! The roads are just horrible and I don't trust my car which has had brake and tire issues for a while now that we keep getting fixed over and over again.

Unfortunately, this may mean we will have to cancel a trip to CT tomorrow to pick tiles. BOOO:((( !!! I want to actually get something accomplished! but safety comes first. Can't wait til the hubs comes home to help me entertain the little guy!!

Here are shots of him having a blast at Gymboree yesterday :) He was acting like such a teacher's pet following the teacher around wherever he went in class - and stomping past any other little kid that got in his way. Oh how he made me laugh :) When class was done and the teacher walked out of the play area, my little boy followed him right out the door. He really took to him! :)

Painting Mismatched Coffee Mugs

For some reason, I've been obsessed with checking out DIY projects online. This is NOT THE TIME for that but during baby's naps - this is what sucks me in. I just love seeing everyone's creativity in action! I have a potential project I want to tackle - post new baby I guess - and wanted to hear some input! I have so many random coffee mugs in my cupboards. I don't want to throw them away. They're in perfectly good condition, just old and mismatched by colors. I'm ok with different styles - I kinda like having a slew of different mugs but I want to paint them all the same color and not sure if this is something u can just DO. I want to paint these ceramic mugs without having to go to a bake place. Too $$. If I use acrylic paint and some sort of gloss varnish, will they last a hand washing or the dishwasher? I'm thinking of just painting on the outside - not the inside.

Need to Pick Tiles! yikes..

We cancelled an appointment with our contractor this week because my back has just been killing me. I'm sorta glad because now it gives me more time to find what i like and want! This weekend is it - we have to buckle down and start PICKING things - tiles, fixtures, appliances. This is all going to fast. I need more baby naptimes to surf the web for more pics of bathrooms and kitchens i like! :) Honestly tho - that could go on for months and we all know it :) SO we have 3 bathrooms we're going and 1 kitchen. I know the look I want. It's just going to be a matter of what we can get and on what budget. I'm including pics below of a combination of looks I like.

For the downstairs powder room - I'd like a dark chocolate bathroom with a white pedestal sink, white wainscoating on the walls and just a basic matching tile. What that means, I don't know but if I see it - maybe it will be clear :)

For the boys'bathroom - I'd like a light bathroom, maybe a white vanity, lighter tiles, possibly beige but light all around. This will be the bathroom the kids use and the main bathroom guests use when they come over so I don't want to have it looking like a kids bathroom! I'd like the tub tiled as well on the outside of it.

For our bathroom  - I want a getaway, an escape, a spa like retreat - can I get an AMEN? I'm imagining more stone work, beige ish colors but not too dark.

For the kitchen - I don't know. I just don't know what matches with off white cabinets and a brown granite countertop. The tile lady at the store kept saying to pick a color from the granite we have (which we have nothing of yet) and choose ur tile based on that. No idea. I'm thinking just a basic beige tile, maybe some accent pieces for a border and a basic backsplash. While glass tiles are nice on a backsplash - I don't have to have it. I just want it to match and look nice!

Vision for Front Entry Way

Sorry for being out of touch! We have a very special out of town visitor so the days are just flying by. When I get sommmmeee, annyyy downtime - I'm still trying to research pics of the look I want for the new house.

Our new house is a raised ranch. When you walk inside, there is a little tiled entryway on the bottom floor and to your left is a flight of stairs going up to the main level. Sorry I don't have a pic but will get one. There is room for a long table to plop keys onto when u walk in. I'm also imagining something like a storage system for hats, shoes gloves scarves etc. Not sure if I should just have hooks or maybe put a bench to store outdoor wear and have a spot to sit to put on ur shoes - instead of a table.

The entrance inside to ur home is the first thing people walk into when they enter your home - the first thing they see. I want it to be cozy and comfy, functional more than decorative and most importantly - NEAT! I know when I get in with the baby, I am so exhausted, I just need a spot to drop everything - keys, diaper bag, baby, boots, jackets, flip flops, towels from swimming.

Looking for inspiring pics! Here are some:

 

Just call me MOOO - MA!

My little guy has been chatting up a storm lately. Wonder where he gets THAT from?! ahem ahem. :) I've been trying to be super encouraging with all the animals and animal sounds he identifies. He gets SO excited to say woof woof when he sees the crazy doggie and MOO MOO when he sees cows in books.

Well. TODAY we were pointing out animals and upon seeing a cow, Kavan said MAMA. I couldn't help but laugh out loud and think great, even HE knows I'm huge now. I laughed along with him and said not mama, cow - moo moo - that's the Moo's Mama. And he proceeded to insist, MAMA. ahem. Cute, kid. REAL cute.

In defense of my growing size, I'd like to point out that earlier we were reading the book Mama, Mama which was all about Mama animals and their babies. Orrrrr he's just a funny little nugget and knows he's making a joke? I could swear he does joke around sometimes and knows he is cracking a joke. I dont think it's too early for that do u?

And here I thought I was Mama Lion. Guess not. :) I'd like to sign off with a loud and proud MOOOOO!!! xoxo

Office Desk (Courtesy of Ikea of course)

Im going to post my finds and things I love here because I'm starting to lose track of it all - there's just so many choices!! 

There is a large room adjacent to the den fireplace room downstairs. First we thought this would be perfect for a guest bedroom or a workout room - then we nixed that idea in favor of a room for us to play in :) The kids' playroom would be the den next door and mommy daddy's playroom would be this joint office room. So sad that playroom for us Now means time away on our laptops, in our own space, at a desk or comfy chair with a book. It is what it is folks! 

So we are trying to come to an agreement on colors and the look of our joint office. We will need to merge our styles - but not so sure how it will be possible. I just need a space I can go to for a little escape - to scrapbook, get on the computer, read a book with some tea, sew and CREATE! My own space - or at least a corner of a space.

I would love something feminine comfy and sophisticated while I think he wants more of a techy feel with all his gadgets, printer, faxer, computers tv, videogames etc. Sigh. HGTV where are u when I need u?! Why can't u just magically pop on my doorstep and help this Preggo stressed out mama!Maybe I should apply for a makeover. What are the odds we will get picked. Very low. I'm sure.

Ok one thing at a time. We have both agreed to a light grey paint on the walls. I'd like more of a white lighter feel for my area and he has agreed to that! I found a pretty cool desk at Ikea for only $159 (not bad) and matching white bookcases. Maybe I'll have to do without those, but they're pretty nonetheless. I love the look of this architect style desk. I've always wanted something like this but will probably have to lower the tilt when I want to use my sewing machine. Still, very cool. 

Where do you do your Best Thinking?

It just dawned on me today - I can have mommy mush brains for days on end and not even realize it. We just go from chore to chore, task to task, one routine to the other - racing to get things done and find some serenity during naptime! These days it's so hard to have any sense of clarity! Lately I have felt so overwhelmed with everything going on in our busy bee lives that I don't really get time to make sense of it all or get any "AH HA" moments. I'd love me some of those!!  I had one today in a nice hot long shower and it felt amazing. Just got a simple answer to a little issue in our lives and more answers just started coming to me. I realized this quality thinking never happens unless I am

1. driving the car, alone.
2. in the shower - most definitely alone. excluding hubbies and babies
3. on a run - so very very rare these days mostly because i'm pregnant and the size of a house
   
   Where do u do your best thinking? Where do u get answers to ur issues and questions? How do u find a way to escape so clarity can find its way in?